8/31/11: Oops, my mistake...

I've decided that the D Line is now my train of preference, given that it seems to come the most frequently and have the most seats open.  So I watched an E, then a B, then a C...

I decided to pass on the C-Line, figuring a D would be next.  Another E.  Yankees/Red Sox traffic was starting to accumulate, so when the next train was a C, I hopped on.  Normally, I'm on the first of consecutive C trains and am forced to get off at Coolidge Corner and switch.  Nothing doing today, as I had smooth sailing back home. 

I'm finally starting to work the system.

8/30/11: Revenue Management

Will wonders never cease?  I actually watched a drive make the announcement about coming up the front and swiping cards.  And then she went to the back and grabbed two teenagers who didn't swipe their cards and made them come pay.  I don't know if she picked them out because they were teens or because they were the only ones she saw, but it was nice to see her do something about the situation.  I'd gladly handle the delays if we used the time to "educate" the public that the T, while public transportation, is not free public transportation.

8/29/11: Better service through announcements

Here's how to tell whether a T driver thinks they're carrying the customers who pay their salaries or cattle: Are useful announcements made along the way.

Any Bostonian knows that the place to get off for Fenway Park is not, in fact, Fenway stop, but rather, Kenmore.  Your average non-Bostonian, however, is unaware of these facts.  So when I ran into a confused family on the T, I pointed them to Kenmore.  But here's the bigger question: Why doesn't the drive make an announcement, "Get off here for Fenway Park?"  Why should the tourists, particularly those who get on at a stop without signs for Fenway, not get a little extra info?

To be fair, there are the helpful drivers who just miss their cues.  As we got back to street level, the driver announced that those who boarded need to come up front and pay their fare.  Now, this is a genuine attempt at revenue collection, although it is usually futile, as most passengers just ignore it.  The problem is, the driver was making the announcement as we pulled into the station, before the passengers had even gotten off.  It doesn't do much good to tell your departing passengers to pay their fares.

This morning, we took a nice five minute pause underground.  We sat, and sat and sat.  Announcements?  None.  Would an announcement have gotten us out any sooner?  Of course not.  But would some rationale for the delay been nice to have.  Of course.

8/25/11: How could something so good go so bad?

It looked like luck was with me yesterday.  The rain started just as I was entering Government Center and there were no lines at the turnstile.  I raced down the stairs and saw a C-Line train waiting.  The doors were closing just as I approached the train, so I prepared myself to catch the next one, but the woman boarding the train got her backpack stuck in the door.  Success!  The driver was forced to open the door to let her get her backpack free.

Only to slam it in my face as I got to the train.  And then the train sat there.  And waited.  And waited.  And the driver refused to open the door, no matter how much knocking or pleading I did.  It taunted me for a good two minutes before taking off.  No wonder T drivers have such a great reputation in Boston.  The German tourist standing next to me said, "I was here 35 years ago and it was exactly the same."  Probably the same driver, too.

Note to passengers: If you have access to the facilities, please bathe sometime in the 72 hours before you get on the train.  The woman sitting next to me, well, she smelled.  Pretty bad.  There really wasn't anyplace to go, but I moved as soon as possible.

At least today is Friday.

8/24/11: It was an odd day...

I left work early yesterday and caught a train mid-afternoon.  Despite the fact that trains don't run as frequently in the early afternoon, I got an empty C Train after a few minutes.

A note about the Dunkin Donuts at Government Center.  I know the heat slows everyone down, but I'm constantly amazed by exactly how slowly these guys move.  One would think that they'd want to get as much traffic through the kiosk as fast as possible, given that people there are also waiting for their trains.  Yesterday hit a new low, however, when the kiosk ground to a halt as the woman in front of me got the wrong change.  It took both of the employees to sort it out.  The same thing happened to me, immediately afterward.  Seriously?  The number shows up on the cash register in front of you.  This is at least the second time that I've gotten shortchanged (never gotten too much change), and I'm starting to think that it is not unintentional.

I saw a young woman on the train with a hand piercing.  Ouch.  I've seen a lot of piercings in my time, but have no idea what could cause somebody to get their hand pierced.  No wager is worth that kind of money.

And finally, I noticed in the Metro today that the T has raised $55,000 from the sale of goods in its store, including $650 for a vintage map, which I think would actually be kind of cool to have.  So let's see, if the T is $100m in the hole, that 55K is .055% of the way there.  That's not 5%.  That's 1/20 of one percent.  Probably gotta do better than that.

8/24: The Breakthrough

After months of futility, I finally got the T-Pass to swipe and open the gates at Government Center.  Now listen carefully, because I'm going to share some secret information with you: To get the gates to open on the first try, you have to hold your pass flat against the reader.  No tapping, no swiping.  Just flat.  Of course, since half the readers are broken, it may not make a difference, but it's a good note for future reference.

Shocker of the day: I got no disruption from the afternoon earthquake.  Not that I'm cynical or anything, but it would have been a good excuse to give the trains an afternoon off.

8/22/11: A normal ride home

It's so nice when everything runs as it should.  By "as it should," of course, I mean convenient for me.  A D-Line train was waiting for me at Government Center, there were few unexplained stops along the way and I made it home on time.

I still don't understand the concept of drivers barking into the microphones like drill sergeants.  Seriously, does he think yelling at passengers makes anyone board any faster or squeeze in any tighter when there is no room left to squeeze?  Particularly on this train, which was half empty.

8/19/11: Cultural Differences

So I decided to do something different yesterday.  Since the weather was nice, I walked from downtown to Kenmore and get on there.  It felt nice as I was leaving.  I was covered in sweat as I walked into Kenmore.  Like Government Center, it's a sauna, but there were only four or five people wandering around trying to look like they weren't trying to hog the space in front of the two fans.

As I stepped onto the train, I noticed something I had never seen on the T before: There was a woman breastfeeding.  Now, that in and of itself is not unusual, but that kid had to be at least three years old.  Hmm, I mean, I know it's hot out there, but I'd never seen a kid that old breastfeeding.  Is this unusual?

8/19/11: Footsies

There's a delicate balance when it comes to common courtesy on the T.  Physical interaction with your fellow passengers is impossible to avoid, much as the way cows can't help but touch each other on their way to their final destination (right next to the mashed potatoes).  Still, there's a line between incidental touching and outright battery. 

It wasn't until I was getting off the train yesterday that my traveling companion mentioned the assault on her lower extremities by the guy standing next to her, ranging from being stepped on to being smacked with a bag.  Ouch, that must have been fun.  Retaliation probably would be inappropriate in these situations, so here's the new rule for MBTA courtesy: If you rub or bump up against somebody, it is appropriate to say, "excuse me."  The "half-nod" is probably okay, as well.  If you perform an act that could cause them physical harm, step up your apology to, "I'm sorry."  And if you land in their lap after the driver comes to a hard stop, see about getting a phone number.

8/18/11: The Barker

[sarcasm] Do you know what really, really helps make the mood that much better when you have hundreds of people crushing each other to get onto a train?  It's when the driver starts barking out, "Let's go, people, move in!  Let's go!" [/sarcasm]  Seriously, is this really necessary?  Does he think that anyone doesn't just want to get out of there?  It's rush hour, big guy.  We're all veterans and know the drill.  Maybe if the T ran on schedule and spaced out the trains, we wouldn't have these problems.  Karma nailed me for my bad thoughts.  The train turned express at Cleveland Circle.

That Guy was on my train this morning.  For those who aren't familiar with That Guy from previous posts, he's the one with music blasting out of his ear buds so loudly that the whole train can here it.  I think that he feels like it somehow makes him a rebel.  Rebel or not, he's gonna be a deaf one in a few years.  Oh, by the way, shouting into your cell phone when there is no reception doesn't make it any easier for the person on the other end of the call to hear you.  But it does entertain the rest of us.

The MBTA and the Mysterious Ticking Noise

Got on the C Line this morning and heard it almost immediately.  Tick, tick, tick.  Drove me crazy.  I have no idea what it was, but it continued all the way to Park Street.

I suppose there's no reason to be nervous, since it's just a ticking sound, as opposed to the high squeal that I hear whenever the T attempts to break.  But it was the green line version of Chinese water torture.

The drivers in the morning tend to be a lot friendlier than the ones in the afternoon, which makes sense, since they aren't dealing with hundreds of sweaty, pushing people from moment one.  Are afternoon drivers the equivalent of strip club day shifts?

8/16/11: Money, Money, Money...

Easy ride home.  Hopped right on the C Line and got a seat without incident.  Gotta love away games.  Added bonus: we pulled into the second track at Park Street, so there was no crushing coming in from either side.

I saw the current/former GM state that the T is in serious financial trouble and it could get worse if federal funds don't get renewed.  And in other news, water is wet.

Look, guys, enough is enough already.  Need a new parking lot?  Raise the price to park.  Trust me, an extra buck isn't gonna keep people from going to Braintree.  Let it pay for itself.  Repairs to existing stations?  Not much you can do there.

Repeat after me: "Revenue minus Costs equals your allowance..."

8/11/11: The Green Line bites back

That'll teach me.  A day after a relatively nice ride, we went back to life as I knew it.

Note: One of the better ways to increase revenues would be to fix the turnstiles.  The turnstile situation at Government Center has become a disaster, with the sensors not working, leading to backed up lines.  Once one of the turnstiles opens, several people flow through at once.  I don't attribute any of this to fare evasion.  People simply can't get through the turnstiles in an orderly fashion when the sensors don't work.  To "solve" the problem, the handicap gate was simply left open.  This has been an issue all summer and the T seems to be in no hurry to fix it.  Nice job, guys.

On the plus side, a C train was waiting for me as I got downstairs.  On the downside, it was a C train.  Sure enough, we made it one stop before the delay kicked in.  It was lots of fun watching the D train next to me speed by on Park Street's second track.

I'm not sure who runs operations at the T, but there has to be a better way.  I sympathize with the fact that it is rush hour.  But the schedule bears no resemblance whatsoever to the time the trains actually show up.  One would think that, after years of doing this, they'd stop promising me a half hour ride when it takes a half hour simply to get to Kenmore.  Hey, I know what I'm in for.  All I ask is that the MBTA gets a little more realistic.

8/10/11: It was a good day

And every once in a while, things go really well.

There was a B-Train sitting in the station when I got there, but the D-Train was right behind it.  I hopped on my new favorite train (D>C>B) and we took off promptly.  Few delays, and when we were delayed, the conductor let us know.  None of the start and stop that I've become accustomed to (flying bodies included).  When the driver noticed that I got up while we were stopped, she asked if I needed to get off.  A thoroughly enjoyable ride.  Hey, gotta give the good with the bad.  Just keepin' it real.

8/9/11: And now, a word from your customers...

I feel bad for outgoing MBTA chief Richard Davey.  I really do.  He was stuck in a no-win situation with a massive bureaucracy that was generally more worried about covering its own but than anything else.  Union rules, poor operations and a lack of funding continually made his job a nightmare.

But I was somewhat sickened to read in a recent article that he considered the T's social networking platform among his greatest accomplishments.  Seriously?  We have passengers trapped in broken down trains on the Red Line and he is concerned about the app that will tell them how late they are?  I can only hope that he was just trying to connect with readers by talking about the hot topic of the day rather than believing that a few apps was his biggest accomplishment.

Mr. Davey is on to bigger and better things and his replacement will have a really crappy job.  But there's no way that the next manager is going to fix anything without raising prices.

Prices on the T haven't gone up in five years.  Meanwhile, you can pay $2 (or $1.70 with a card) to go from one end of the city to the other.  It's one of the greatest bargains in Boston.  And it should be; there's a reason it's called "public transportation."  But the T's cash is a function of Revenues minus Costs, and those aren't looking so hot right now.  Good luck getting the unions to give back; the most I can hope for there is that the T holds the line on costs.  And the T's other schemes, including advertising and the T-shirt shop, aren't going to cover the bills.

A $.50 fare hike wouldn't be gentle, but it would solve a lot of problems.  The T's main concern is that the very people who need the most, generally those living farthest from the city, are the ones who would be most hurt by the fare hike, and this is a valid concern.  Thus, the MBTA should also allow passengers to file for a hardship allowance to offset the hike and handle those on a case by case basis.  Even if 20% of the passengers could not handle the increase, you would still generate an extra $4 in revenue per 10 passengers.

It wouldn't be the end, but it would be a good start.  Meanwhile, I'll keep waiting for the C Train while nine others go by.

8/8/11: The Early Train

Managed to get out of the office at 4:30 today so I missed the majority of the crowd at Government Center.

I'm always amazed by the heat in the train station.  It hits you as soon as you walk in the door and, although there are fans by the track, the only thing they can do is blow the hot air around so everyone can share in the humidity.  The proverbial comparison to the furnace is not irrelevant here.

As I was getting on the train yesterday, I was standing next to a guy who looked just like Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.  I almost asked him if he planned on running for office.  I'm just saying.

Are kids swearing more than usual these days or am I just getting old?  I had the privilege of sitting next to four girls yesterday and listened as they used swears as nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs.  Would it have been impolite for me to ask if they knew the past participle of these words?  And they say schools are failing our kids these days.  On the plus side, I did learn how far back one can pierce a tongue and that there is such a thing as finger piercing.

8/5/11: Weekend fun

I should have known ahead of time that today would be trouble.  It's a Friday, in the summer, with the Red Sox in town.  In case I didn't, I found out when I got to the station.  The line was four deep just to get through the friggin' turnstiles.  Seriously?  It's not that hard to swipe your card and move forward.  Downstairs, people were lined up about seven deep to shove each other out of the way to get on the train.

Fortunately, a C Train pulled up and I managed to get pushed on by the guy behind me.  Even better, the driver told us that there was another train right behind us.  Nice!  Hop off the C.  It was a D right behind us, but that's close enough for me. 

Amusing event of the night: Watching the 40+ guy in front of me hit on the cute 20-something next to me.  Dude, I have to tell you, it was embarrassing for all of us.

Less amusing: The woman who felt it was important to have a conversation with her husband at a screaming level, even though he was standing right next to her.  As she got off the train, somebody muttered, "Thank God."  Oh, wait, that was me.

8/4/11: It happens occasionally...

Every once in a while, you get lucky.  The D Line was waiting for me as I arrived and, although there were no seats available, it wasn't particularly crowded.  Had an almost pleasant ride to my stop, with the exception of the driver constantly barking into her microphone to "MOVE INTO THE CENTER OF THE TRAIN!"  I'm not sure what she thought the problem was, but there was plenty of room.  Had a nice conversation with the woman next to me who almost believed me when I told her that the Green Line was built in the 18th century (It wasn't.  It was built in the 16th century.).

I'm still annoyed by the woman the other day who didn't give up her seat for the pregnant woman standing right in front of her.  Seriously?  Is your seat that important?  Common courtesy just got another nail in the coffin.

8/3/11 B Line Follies

This one is partially my fault.  While the B Line doesn't get me as close to my house as the others do, my wife took it the other night and recommended it, saying that, with the students out of school, the train barely made any stops.   Needless to say, it made every single stop on the way home.  The plus side is that I had a seat the whole way and could watch my fellow riders.  Half the fun, people watching. 


"That Guy" was on my train again this morning.  Not the same TG as the previous night, but the music blasting out of his headphones was just as loud.  Unfortunately, he didn't have the dancing to accompany his music, but he was entertaining, just the same.  What's with the sunglasses, anyway?  TG Tuesday was wearing them, also.  It's dark and cloudy outside.  You just look like an idiot.

8/2/11: "That Guy"

Broke early from work and hit Government Center at 4:55.  This time, the C line was only the fifth train to come, probably about average.  I've never understood how the "schedule" works.  The C train is supposed to be the one to come the most often.  Above my pay grade.

A crowded train meant I was standing again, but that was no problem compared to the clearly pregnant woman standing next to me.  You know what really grinds my gears?  When a woman who looks like she was pulled from "People of Walmart" just sits there and doesn't offer the seat to pregnant woman standing in front of her.  PoW woman got off after a few stops, so the pregnant woman was able to sit down.

A short while later, I found myself standing next to "That Guy."  You know him: the one whose music is simply so incredible that he has to blast his iPod loud enough to make sure everyone within the time zone can hear it.  Tapping the hand rail and his foot along with the music and doing his little dance.  It would be funny if it weren't so annoyingly pathetic.

For the second day in a row, everyone had to clear the train at Coolidge Corner when it turned Express to Cleveland Circle.  Fortunately, they apologized for the inconvenience, so I felt a lot better about it.  I wonder if there is some Joe Dimaggio-type streak for most days in a row being forced to change trains at Coolidge Corner.

8/1/11: Should've taken the D train

The C train is the closest one to my house, but I can also take the D train, which is far more reliable but involves a longer walk home.  Normally, I'll take whichever comes first, but it looked like rain, so I decided to chance the C train.  Big mistake.

It's always a game to see who can get closest to where the door will open without pushing another passenger onto the rails.  The heat in Government Center is bad enough, but with hundreds of passengers closing in on each other to get the one seat that will remain after the doors open, it becomes a sauna.  Still, I stuck it out, only to watch three E trains come in a row.  The E train is the red-headed stepchild of the MBTA, since it is the only westbound train that doesn't go to Kenmore.  And they come almost as infrequently as the C train.  Seeing three of them go by in a row is the T equivalent of hitting red 17 times in a row at the craps table.

In all, I watch four E, three D and three B trains go by before the C train showed up.  Needless to say, it was packed.  The proverbial sardines analogy doesn't even come close to describing the situation on the train.  I'm pretty sure I got goosed by an 87-year old man.  After a half hour of bumping and grinding, we made it to Kenmore, where the Red Sox traffic emptied onto the streets.  That's six stops in 30 minutes, for those who are keeping count.

The other problem with being the first C train after a long absence is the inevitable "This train will run express to Cleveland Circle."  Normally, there is another C train right behind me.  Not this time.  The plus side is that the next train that finally showed up smelled like onion bagels, so it was a pleasant ride until the guy in the tank top stuck his armpit in my face.

Just another day on the green line.

8/1/11: The Introduction

Hi, I'm Mike.

When I decided to move to Brookline, I got a number of consolation calls and emails telling from people telling me how sorry they were that I would have to take the Green Line.  I got a good laugh out of it, wondering who would choose a town based on which train they would have to take.  Now I know.  For however long I can keep writing this thing, I'll tell you all about life on the green line.